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It’s hard being a writer that doesn’t write. It’s time to write again.
It’s been over a year since I’ve even wanted to write. I would sit down and start and after a sentence or two I would give up. After writing for almost 20 years and blogging for 10, I was done. I felt like I had nothing left to say, nothing left to give. Some of my best work was sitting on other blogger’s sites (I’m a ghostwriter) making them a ton of money while my site was a sad sack and would go weeks without a post. Toss in that I had an injury that left me without use of my right arm and I needed to step away from the keyboard for awhile and heal my body and find a reason to write again. Today I woke up and wanted nothing more than to write, to share what’s going on behind the fake smiles and good hair days. I’ve waited for this day for a long time… it’s time to write again.
This past year has been challenging on many levels. I’ve always known that my body was pissed off at the world, but I didn’t realize just how bad it really was. Basically, I’m allergic to trees. Yep, trees. Try going anywhere in Alaska or anywhere really and not running into a tree or two. Not just big leafy trees like Oak or Birch, but desert trees like Palo Verde and Mesquite. Then to make it more complicated, my body views certain foods that have a similar protein structure to that of a tree. Basically, if I breathe in any particle of a tree (pollen is the worst for me) and eat one of those foods (namely soy), it can be a deadly combination for me. I have to carry Epi Pens with me always, no exceptions… especially if I go outside. Basically, I should live in a bubble.
Alaska is the most beautiful place I have ever known. I want to be able to enjoy it. All of it. From camping under the stars to fishing the waters of Resurrection Bay. This is my happy place and being in nature fuels my soul. The thought of living in fear and inside for the rest of my life… no thank you. I’d rather not.
I love to solo camp around Alaska! Breathtaking, right?!?
Yes, I was prescribed a Medical Alert Service Dog.
During one of the many allergy tests I’ve had this past year, the first talks of getting a service dog were mentioned. I am single and live alone. I don’t always go hiking or running with friends. So what would happen if I was out on a trail and went into anaphylaxis where my throat closed up and I couldn’t breathe? Having a Medical Alert Dog could potentially save my life.
I will tell you this… when you tell people that you are *thinking* about getting a Service Dog they are not always kind in their responses. I’ve heard everything from – oh, you are going to be one of those that abuse the system to you don’t look sick. I’ve heard a lot of other things too. It’s ok. I get it. I’ve shared a bit about what’s going on, but not a ton. When I’m not feeling well, I don’t typically let people in. I would rather share a funny meme or hide behind work. Everyone has their own issues and challenges and mine are not the worst by any means, but they are mine. Being judged by people though that really have no idea what’s going on with me, isn’t awesome.
I made mention that I was looking for a very specific breed of dog… an Australian Labradoodle. It is one of the most hypoallergenic dogs (no dog is 100% allergen free) out there, very trainable, with a sweet disposition. My friend Donna shared a link to a dog from a breeder that her family had used. I knew the second I saw his sweet face, that this cute little black puppy was to be mine. He was exactly what I was looking for – a male Mini Australian Multigenerational Labradoodle.
He hasn’t told me his name yet… will update when he does!
Before you bash me for going with with a breeder, just know I love rescue dogs! For me, in this moment in time, I need to know the lineage of the dog. There are a lot of things at play here and going with a breeder was the right decision for me and my health.
I can just imagine the requests that breeders get from prospective puppy parents. Thankfully, they were onboard with sending me a locket of his puppy fur so that I could be tested against him. I am allergic to all cats and most dogs. That doesn’t mean that I don’t cuddle the hell out of them. It just means I have to take a shower and wash my hands and face immediately after touching them. As a huge animal lover, getting the news that I was allergic to a ton of animals made me more than a little depressed.
Side note –> I’ve built four businesses around plants, flowers, and trees. I spend my free time looking for wild animals and playing with domesticated animals any chance I get. To get the diagnosis that I was allergic to the things that make me the happiest in this world was devastating.
I love looking for these beautiful creatures… from a safe distance of course!
Today though, today I’m happy. This weekend I will take five flights and travel just try of 5,000 miles to pick up my puppy in North Carolina. I’m grateful to my friend Kim for donating the miles needed to make the trip down there. I still have to get my ticket back home! Ha!
He will be delivered to the airport and we will have an hour before we hop onto two more flights to make it to my family’s home in Indiana. I’m hoping during that first hour together he will tell me his name.
I’m nervous and scared and uncertain on how to be a single puppy mamma. That might seem like a crazy statement to you. But I never had the chance to be a mother. When I have had dogs, I had them with my ex-husband or my siblings. I’ve never had one that was just mine to love and learn with. I’m afraid the little guy is going to tear down all these walls I’ve built up around my heart. That my friends, is a very scary thought for me.
The day that I announced that I was going to adopt this puppy was the same day that my Beagle Kirby passed away. I didn’t know it at the time, but I have to say when I found out, I was overwhelmed with emotions. The Universe has a strange way of saying it is ok to move on.
I used to tuck Kirby in for his naps. 🙂
Once I name the little guy I fully expect he will have his own column here on the site and might just be what I’ve been waiting for to create videos. For now, he was the inspiration to write again. And for that, I’m grateful. ❤️
I was asked to have a Puppy Shower, kinda like a Baby Shower! If you have suggestions of what I should put on it, let me know. I’m looking forward to this new adventure with my little guy! Here’s my Puppy Party Wish List.