Alaska-Style #WhatNotToSayToAWoman Went Down on Twitter

Last night after dinner with a friend I came back to my hotel and wanted a glass of wine. Honestly, I wasn’t in a talking mood and just wanted to sit there and zone out. I had a lot on my mind and thought I had firmly tattooed, Eff Off on my forehead. Obviously not! This was the tweet stream of what happened when a guy who was in his mid70s, attractive for an older man, and thought he should speak every word that came into his mind. I couldn’t tweet fast enough as he kept dropping these gems. So last night, Alaska-Style #WhatNotToSayToAWoman Went Down on Twitter…

So… what are you doing tonight? I’m trying not to be hit on by a man twice my age. You are jealous, I know.

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

#whatnottosaytoawoman I haven’t showered in 21 days — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

#whatnottosaytoawoman the last girl’s feet smelled so bad from @XtratufBoots that I couldn’t get it up #alaskadating

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

#whatnottosaytoawoman I go for the oldest woman in a bar bc they tend to be desparate. How old are you? #alaskadating #ohhellsno — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

#whatnottosaytoawoman I make $2000/day as a boat captain. Wanna go back to my boat? I don’t have a head so piss first. #alaskadating

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

OMG he is mid70s. Looks good for his age. Still NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I will not date my grandfather. #whatnottosaytoawoman — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I’ve done a lot of hookers and blow. Those were good times. #whatnottosaytoawoman

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

Wanna go to dinner sometime? I have a case of Cup of Noodles on my boat. #whatnottosaytoawoman #alaskadating — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I might be old, but I can get it up. Or I can introduce you to my son. #whatnottosaytoawoman

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I specialize in King Crabs. Would you like my crabs? #whatnottosaytoawoman #alaskadating #onlyinalaska — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I’ve been banging women since before Alaska was a state. I’d love to bang you. #whatnottosaytoawoman #alaska #alaskadating

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I can identify a 100 different types of fish. Does that turn you on? #whatnottosaytoawoman #alaskadating and NO — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

 

Can I rub against you? You look cozy and soft bc you are kinda plump #whatnottosaytoawoman — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I would be dead if I had a 24 yr old girlfriend. Or I would shoot too early. #whatnottosaytoawoman

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

Oh I can drive. As long as we don’t get pull over. Wanna come with us? #whatnottosaytoawoman

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I’m an Alaskan Native. I can give you medical and fish. Interested? #whatnottosaytoawoman — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I just met the woman he invited here on a date… and is pissed that all his attention has been on me. #Awkward #whatnottosaytoawoman

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

I need to wet my willy… You interested? Ummmm… NO #whatnottosaytoawoman — Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

That concludes #whatnottosaytoawoman for tonight. Holy shit, tonight was entertaining and sad, really. I’m off to my happy place 😉

— Kristi Trimmer (@KristiTrimmer) October 4, 2015

Did you read this Dating Disasters From Alaska gem from last winter?