Let’s just talk about the elephant in the room – I have gained back some of the weight I lost in 2012. And I am not a Happy Camper about the way I look and feel these days. I just weighed myself and did body measurements and compared them to where I was in 2012, 2013, and 2014. How did I get back to where I was in 2012? I have gained back 25 pounds of the 50 I lost in 2012. That was the heaviest I have ever been when I was in the hospital with a failing liver due to a severe food allergy to soy.

By March of 2012 I had I lost 20lbs and did it by running and eating a completely soy-free diet. So here I am, three years later and my body doesn’t even remember what it was like to run 10 half marathons just a year ago.

I might be wearing 3 layers of clothes here, but you can see in my face the 25 pounds I’ve gained compared to just one year ago.

I’ve had quite a few soy reactions in the last 6 months or so. For the last 30 days, I have gone to making all of my own meals, including green power smoothies at least 4x a week. I only go out to eat once a week and am diligent about working with the chef to make sure my food is safe. I also am only eating organic meat and seafood. Thankfully, almost all of the seafood in Alaska is caught right here in the ocean and is soy-free.

I know that most issues with weight gain is nutrition. Dial in your nutrition and you dial in your weight.

Why does it matter? Here are a few reasons.

1. I want to run again. I can’t really right now as it is too much weight for my torn Achilles Tendon. People ask when will my ankle be healed and will there be a time when I don’t bring it up anymore. I don’t know. What I do know is I still have a lot of pain after I go for a hike or a run. I try to hide walking with a limp, but it is there. I’ve resigned myself to living with this pain for the rest of my life.

I feel like a big ‘ol Hot Mess.

2. I want to be an athlete again. I realize I may never run long distances again, but I want to be able to do other things. For example… I want to hike into Alaska’s back country or hike up and crevasse down into glaciers, I want to learn to ski, paddle board, and a bajillion other things. I can’t do that with the body I have – it isn’t currently strong or fit enough.

3. I want to date again. I know some of you will disagree with me on this, but it is what it is. For a number of reasons, men are not attracted to me right now. I have a lot going for me and a lot to offer – but I can’t seem to get to a second date. In Alaska though, there are very few people here that are overweight. Very few. This culture is all about health, fitness, and nutrition. When you see someone who is overweight here you assume they are a tourist. Alaskans are a very, very active society. I have found that guys here want someone who can keep up athletically. I might be able to hike for hours, but you can’t tell that by looking at me. So if I decide to stay in Alaska, I would like to date and have a relationship again.

4. I want to be in control of my life again. This is something I have just put a correlation to. When my weight increases, my work productivity decreases thus my income decreases. I’m not certain why this is, but I have documented it throughout the years. When I have nutrition under control, the rest of my life seems to work better. I want that back.

So What Am I Going to do To Change This Cycle?

1. Have an accountability partner. One of my dear friends who has gone through this weight loss cycle on her own has agreed to being accountability partners. We talk everyday – the good of what we did and the bad of what we didn’t do. We are both on My Fitness Pal and log in our food and exercise every day. It is because of her that I weighed in and did measurements today. She is also the reason I am logging my food again and seeing where I need to make changes. She is also helping me to be accountable to my finances and getting my books in order. I have a separate accountability partner for my blog and client writing. Between these two amazing women, I have a great team started.

2. Set Goals. I am a goal-oriented person. I not only have a goal for the scale, but more importantly, a goal for what my body can do. You see, I *know* what my body is capable of and I want that back. I’ve also set goals for writing and finances. To have balance in your life, you must bring all parts of your life to the table.

3. Have a plan. I make nutritious meals on the weekend so I have them throughout the week. I buy organic fruits, vegetables, meats and fish and plan out my meals for the week. I also must do the minimum of these exercises 5 days a week.

This is what my minimum looks like: 100 squats, 100 crunches, 60 lunges on each leg, 30 pushups, and planking. These can be done in various forms like side or forward lunges.

In addition to the minimum, I will add in one of these each day: Yoga, Running, Weighted Bands, SandBells Workout, PiYo, Insanity, and hopefully hiking as it warms up here in Alaska.

 

I can give you a 100 excuses as to why I am overweight. But excuses aren’t going to help me to get better, be healthier. Even at my fittest and running 8 miles a few times a week I was still overweight. I’ve had people tell me that I was healthy then. But you know what, I still wasn’t. Extra weight means an early death sentence. At my height, I need to weigh less than 150 pounds. So that, my friends, is my goal weight.

I had been posting my #30Minutes30Day Challenge to Instagram and Facebook. I also was posting my shakes until a few people started making passive aggressive updates about people posting those things. I also had other bloggers say I should’t post my down and dirty smoothie recipes as it reflected poorly on my blog because they weren’t professional quality. So I stopped posting. Well, I need to do what is right for me. So if you don’t want to see those things from me, sorry, not my problem.

I have been really sick the last 2 weeks and it has been crazy cold in Alaska. I’m feeling better now and ready to get this weight off. I have been depressed lately and finally realizing why this morning. Something has to change. I have to change. I am the only person in control of my happiness and being overweight makes me very unhappy. So there it is. The elephant in the room. I’ve seen the looks my friends and family have given me and I ignored them. But I am a science girl and the numbers don’t lie. I’m not healthy or happy, so it is time to make my health a priority again. I can’t work 12 hour days and keep up this writing schedule with a failing body.

What is your best tip or suggestion to help me to stay on this fitness path? Do you have a fave workout or recipe I should add to my arsenal?